Article Of The Day - The Bee Whisperer
 Fergus Leen, aka The Bee Whisperer, is an apiarist and minor celebrity from Cardiff. Once billed as "The Man Who Thinks Like A Bees" (the odd phrasing is thought to be due to a bad translation from the Welsh), he is the only beekeeper known to keep bees, not for their honey, but for their company. Leen became well-known following an appearance on the Welsh-language daytime program Bore Da Cymru where a slight disagreement with the Sound Recordist  over the distracting noise made by his "Beard Of Bees" caused the bees to pull his face into a tulip live on air.

In 1996, Leen fronted his own TV show, The Bee Whisperer, as an expert troubleshooter for 'problem hives'. ITV dropped the show after six episodes, claiming its appeal was "too narrow, focussing as it does exclusively on bees and beekeeping." A broader-appeal Saturday-night dating show The Honey Trap - where Leen's bees were used to help single men pick a wife from a crowded discotheque floor - was put into production and immediately cancelled. However, the six existing episodes of The Bee Whisperer garnered a cult following online, with fans delighting in his eccentric behaviour such as 'saying the first bold hello' – his opening gambit, wherein he would, without warning, insert his unprotected head into the middle of a hive to greet the bees.

Nothing has been heard of Fergus Leen since February 2006, when he attended a village fete near Swansea dressed in a suit, beard and hat made entirely of bees. There to judge a honey competition, he was about to announce the winner when he began to rise from the podium into the air and hover above the assembled crowd of nearly 20 onlookers. As they realised what was happening, the emergency services were called, but by the time they arrived, Fergus was too high for the Fire Brigade to reach, and a police marksman who attempted to shoot the bees off him ran out of ammunition. By six o'clock he had vanished from sight. Eyewitnesses differ on whether his last audible words were "I shall return", "Remember me, my earthbound kin," or possibly, "Skyward ho, my apian knights!", although voice-analysis of mobile phone footage taken at the time suggests that what was actually saying was closer to "God! No! Help me! The bees, they've got me! For the love of all humanity, help me! Aaaaaarrrrghghghgh!

No winner was ever announced at the honey competition


Media Feature Of The Week - "The Line"
"The Line" is an American TV drama series set in Pittsburgh PA. Created, written and produced by F Dean Zelnick, it aired between 2002 and 2008. Despite initially earning low viewing figures and little critical acclaim, it is now considered by many to be the greatest television show of all time.

 

Notable for its unusually accurate characterisations, vivid use of metaphor and devastatingly deep social commentary, The Line was also extremely groundbreaking technically. Zelnick, who also directed over half of the show's 72 episodes, developed innovative filmic techniques, such as the 'flash-sideways' – a way of filming déjà vu – and whole new types of camerawork – for example the 'skip cut' (where the camera describes a parabola from the intention to the action) and the 'fractal smash zoom’ -

 

* See related articles 'Post-Zelnick camera techniques' and "Optical Injuries & the Panavision Death Controversy” -

 

- enabling The Line to tell stories in ways that had never been achieved before.

 

The Line also introduced completely new ways for television to put across information to the viewer. The whole of Season Two, for example, was filmed via a technique Zelnick called Respiration Palimpsest. Taking place over a cold winter, the actors' breath fog was digitally removed and replaced with condensing breath from completely different words, meaning that there was an inaudible second script. To fully understand the season, it is necessary to decipher the words that have given rise to the characters' breath fog, not just the words you could hear them saying. Answering objections that this was impossible, Zelnick famously replied, "No – it's just not possible yet."

 

The show's core fanbase continued to grow through 2004 onwards and Zelnick's innovations became ever more groundbreaking, e.g. Season Three, Episode Two, Flags of Our Fathers, the entire third act of which is conducted in semaphore; or the episode Word Of Mouth, rumoured to be the most exciting of Season Four but only shown to eight carefully-selected viewers who were then instructed to describe the episode to the best of their ability to anyone who asked, but to lie about the plot to half the people they spoke to.

 

Although the plot that begins to emerge towards the end of Season Four is generally considered the Best Plot of Any Television Show Ever, it is the characters of The Line that have won it its legions of fans. The following is a brief overview of the primary characters.

 

 

Characters from The Line

  •  Tatuk, an Icelandic princess whose tattoos tell a deadly secret.
  •  Ralph, an autistic stenographer cursed with perfect recall.
  •  Joshua, a husband haunted by the memory of his own amnesia.
  •  Psychic Frank Rose, who will stop at nothing to prove his unborn son's innocence.
  •  Slappy, a dog caught in a game of cat and mouse.
  •  Carol, a judge terrified by her own racism.
  •  Marouk, an escapee so foreign, no one knows how much the price on his head is in dollars
  •  Sytske, a fire marshal whose safety-first attitude doesn't cut it on the front line.
  •  Orlac, a killer whale who can sense guilt, but lies to men.
  •  Carlo, whose Mexican name disgusts his Immigration Officer father.
  •  Wrenn, who must pretend to be disgusted by his son to protect him from the truth.
  •  Lynnette, a being so evil she can only be communicated with through a theologian.
  •  Eva, Lynnette's friend from book club.
  • And the Grey Lady, who has haunted the Precinct for years, unaware that she is the ghost of a woman who is still alive.

Discussion Page

 

I don't get it. I just watched the first two episodes and I couldn't tell what was going on. I was expecting a police drama but it seems to be set on an oilrig full of dogs. Way overrated.

CandyGirl21

 

Watch the next two episodes – you're about to regret saying that more than you've ever regretted anything in your life. The first three episodes are designed to undo the damage done by all the television you've watched before and prepare your perception so that it can handle the rest of the show. F Dean Zelnick calls it brain unwashing. Basically, until you've seen episode four, you're psychologically unable to grasp the show.

BodyBagBoy

 

You are obviously too stupid to be allowed to watch the greatest television show in history. How do you have time to post comments on Bigipedia when there's more The Line to be watched? To quote Alison Ryeback in The Independent "This is best watched as a DVD box set. Waiting a week between episodes is like volunteering to be put in a coma for six days, 23-and-a-half hours."

NietszcheanSuperman

 
BigiMedic Questionnaire
BigiMedic! The automatic diagnosis line which allows you to complete your online diagnosis. Please ensure you are properly ill before you complete this test, as Bigipedia will prosecute timewasters to the full extent of the law*

Just simply complete the questionnaire. Answer truthfully - if you lie we will know.

First question - Are you conscious?

Thank you. Are you -

  • at home
  • not at home
  • at knifepoint
  • half in and out of a car
  • next to a war

Thank you. Which of the following statements do you most agree with -

  • I am bleeding
  • That prawn tasted funny
  • I have criticised the Russian premier
  • I picked at it and the end came off
  • My friends did a thing to me, because I'm getting married
  • I waved getting out of a helicopter
  • Let me explain. I know how this looks. But. I was performing an everyday household task naked, when THIS happened.
  • I tried to leave the Yakuza
  • I have not yet become a Superhero, despite the radiation
  • I ate metal for a dare
  • My gloves no longer fit me properly
  • I am on fire

Thank you. If you have full BigiMedic membership, please insert the probe into the USB port and press 'scan'.

Did you know - people with the BigiMedic Gold Package live longer than some people?

Thank you. Now wait, while we analyse your results.

You have got HAD AN ACCIDENT. Please seek medical advice.

 

 

* not necessarily UK law


Bigipedia is legally proud to be sponsored by Chianto
ff 

Chianto, first produced in 1952, is now mainly sold as a beverage. It is unclear why or how the Chianto Company originally produced the liquid. Over the years it has been sold as a hair remover, self-defence spray, hair restorer, and to farmers as a humane way of killing chickens – by putting it into the pig's feed and leaving the gate open. By morning not only were the chickens killed, but often plucked, too.

 

The longevity of the Chianto brand, despite underwhelming sales – and sometimes violent public opposition – has been attributed by some to its financial backing in the form of Nazi Gold.

 

 

Disambiguation - "Nazi Gold".

  • For the Third Reich's assets transferred to Swiss banks, click here.  
  • For the now-discontinued breakfast cereal, click here.
  • For the unacceptably nostalgic radio station, click here.
  • For the colour of Jimmy Saville's tracksuit, click here.
 
Bigipedia - You Think, Therefore We Am
 
 
 
BigiRomance
  • BIGROMANCE USERPROFILE 536
  • UserName: Doctor Omega
  • Age: 55 of your puny years
  • Looking for:A nemesis. We've never met, but when we do, we'll both know. I need someone who'll say, 'No' when everyone else says, "No, no, please!"  Someone who will thwart my plans at the last moment. Someone who'll really make me sit up and say, "This cannot be – I am invincible!". Must enjoy being tied up, or at least tolerate it
  • Prefereces: No minions
 
"Aren't Men Silly?"

The lighter side of the Hairier Sex
"I came home early from work and found my husband wearing my best American Tan popsocks and a nightie – apparently he'd got them confused with his trousers! Aren't men silly!"

Beth, Margate

"My brother isn't sexually attracted to me, even though I am very pretty indeed. Aren't men silly?"

Shania, Chippenham


"My husband's moustache scares our children. I wish he'd take it with him when he goes out. Aren't men silly?"

Vikki, Dawlish

"Men do say the silliest things! The other day, my husband asked where turkeys come from. He was red-faced when I told him he's not supposed to go in my turkey room!"

Kathleen, Abergavenny

"My father speaks in a language only Greeks understand. Aren't men silly?"

Chrissoula, Stoke Newington

"Why do they insist on using the irregular plural 'men'? Aren't mans silly?"

Suzanne, Belper

"Pol Pot killed 2 million people. Typical!"

Edith, Dudley

"Whenever I start thinking that men aren't silly, I watch an episode of Mork & Mindy. They are ludicrous."

Marjorie,Hove

"I sent my husband to the shops to buy some more commemorative plates and he got so lost he never came back – Aren't men silly?"

Jan, Wembley

 
Bigipedia Screensavers
Choose from the following BigiScreenSavers
Ducks: Ducks

Bathing Clowns: Bathing Clowns

Paris By Night: Bon Nuit!

Cows On A Seesaw: Cows On A Seesaw

Duelin' Tarzans: For the music lover!

Dentist Sunrise: Sorry, not available